toward the sun

so this is weird... my buddy's off in the airforce & i really don't have a way to contact him. eventually i'll figure out what his address is, and i then i can write letters, but til ten, i just have to wonder about how he is doin... please keep adam and his family in your prayers. he was soo excited about it. i really hope it turns out to be what he wants it to be.

so we had our open house yesterday. from what we've heard so far it went really well. i just really hope we get a contract on this place soon because it drives me nuts to have to pretend that i don't live here and keep everything perfect all the time.

okay, bear with me... (if you're not a twilight fan, you can skip this paragraph) found out that they are gonna release Eclipse in the imax theater... i think that would be really awesome. probably gonna be really expensive, but whatever... i'm rereading the book and i am so pysched about the movie! really glad we're not gonna have to wait till november for this one!! woo!

we finally got all our Christmas decor done. our house definitely looks its best at christmas, it's the only time of year that our house is really decorated.

things have been kinda out sorts over the past month. but God is workin in my life. it's not been an easy road.... "but nothin's a breeze. we suffer. we bleed for 2 hearts to beat as one. we learn as we go, but at least now we know something we can't become" seems like a fair set of words to describe the last month. i know i have a lot more to learn, and time will tell how everything's supposed to turn out. still he is showing me more and more that he has a plan and that this is the right path to be on right now. he wouldn't have me in this situation if it wasn't part of the process of getting me to the final outcome of where i'm supposed to be. i'm just gonna have to keep on trusting him.

"Father, Healer, deliver me from broken love. Stay here, closer. Let me hear your voice of love"

i've been realizing a lot lately how self-centered i can be. it's not really been an easy confrontation, but i really think that God wants me to see it. i'm just not loving others the way i should be and i think that's primarily because i'm not really asking God to show me how to love the people he puts in my life. i've been realizing that i am so very selfish and fallen. and i am seeing more and more that Jesus is the only one i can run to and he will show me how to live. he's the only one who can show me how to live.

it's been interesting to see how God brings people in and out of my life to teach me different things. some aren't there for long at all though, and sometimes that's hard to accept because it seems like they're the people i need the most. and it bums me out quite a bit when i lose several important people at once. i really really wish i understood everything... but thankfully there are those that do stick around around.



30 Seconds to Mars has a new album out, heard a few songs and there are pretty awesome. :)

-------current playlist-------

This is War- 30 Seconds to Mars

Run This Town- Rihanna & Jay-Z

Good Life- One Republic

Lost Year- Mutemath

Broken Heart- Falling Up

Clipping- Mutemath