repost: : Greater Love

Friday, November 12, 2010

Greater Love

Alrighty, well, I've got a TON of thoughts floating around today. So I suppose the purpose of this post to to pinpoint them, or organize them...
So I guess we'll see how it turns out.

First of all, for my benefit, I'm gonna start out with a brief, life-update overview. Things in life have been kinda crazy recently. And it seems just when I thought I kinda knew what was goin' on or what was coming up next, God decided I wasn't quite dependent enough on Him. He threw me a curve ball. (I should have seen it coming. He's done it before... Hopefully I figure out what it is He wants me to know soon so that I can avoid all this de ja vu...) Anywho, I think His main point is Him trying to say, "Wendy, quit trying to do everything by yourself... I've got it under control, just trust me. I love you." So yeah, I guess there's really 2 things that He's been trying to point out to me; little reminders so to speak. He wants me fully dependent, and He wants me to realize that His love for me is so much greater than I can ever imagine. I'd like to think that I am leaning towards getting the point. I hope I am. It's hard to keep it all in perspective when you go for days trying to have a "right" attitude. Beth Moore reminded me the other day, if I have it all together and in order today, it won't stay that way. I just hope that I can persevere, and that I can continue to trust and follow. The first few days into my current situation, I walked around with a headache. I later realized my teeth had been clenched tight together. Over the past couple days they have become less clenched. I think it's because I have decided that God will grant me clarity with time. Of course, I'm the impatient type who wants instant answers, and immediate results, and and automatic restoration. This is gonna take some time. More time than I would like. But whatever God is doing, I'm just going to have to trust that His timing is perfect, and that whatever it is He wants to accomplish in me and through these circumstances will be well worth the wait.

I can't tell you how crazy it's been to have so much support spring up that I didn't really know I had. I can't tell you how weird it feels to have someone tell you how well you are holding together when it feels like I'm flying to pieces. I can't tell you how many opportunities have been given to me to share about Christ. I can't tell you how great my Father's love is for me, but I will try.

If it weren't for this time of confusion. If it weren't for this time of trial, I wouldn't know how to wake up each day and pray "God, help!" And I most definitely would not have been willing to step out of my comfort zone in all the ways I have done. Surrendering is not easy. But more and more just in the last week, God has proved His love to me daily. By giving up my life, and dying to myself, He has taken over me, and used me in ways I couldn't have planned for myself. It's scary. I won't say it isn't. But at the end of the day, it feels good to know that my goal was not to serve myself, but Him.

His love for me is so great. I can't even begin to understand it. But I know that on my own, I could never have earned it or ever deserved it. So very grateful it was a gift.

Just heard this song for the first time this morning. I've never had a song describe this kind of love so well before...

Tenth Avenue North - Beloved

& this one is just beautiful.

Sarah Saddler - How Deep the Father's Love for Us

*Time seems to be moving slower now more than ever. But I will trust that whatever this is meant to accomplish will be so worth the wait. I pray that God will lead me through this time, and through it I will honor Him. It won't be a waste. Just have to trust that there is a reason. My heart will be wrapped up in Him, and what He wants for me. Anyone who is meant to find it will have to seek God to find it. Whatever pieces of my heart are empty, He will fill. He's the one holding me together. Trust that this time is meant for good, and submit. Hold tightly to the LOVE that is greater than anyone could ever know. Hold on. Don't think for a second that I will let go. Don't think for a minute that I will give up. I will hold tight to His promises to me. Our Father's love is great. It is perfect. I will trust in that truth. And I won't quit.*



And just when you think there really couldn't be anything else going crazy... You find out from your parents that Monday is MOVING DAY. yay...

Posted by wendy at 8:34 AM

Labels: Beloved, don't quit, following, God, greater love, hope, tenth avenue north, trust